1. I twirl my hair.
“Twirls hair counter clockwise (gets pissed when guy doesn’t take the ‘hint’)”
2. I laugh at everything you say.
“Everything you say is funny. I’m prepped to laugh before you’ve even finished the sentence. You are the king of comedians. Nah but seriously—stronger eye contact, smiling, hair touching (my hair, not theirs. That’d be weird.)”
3. I touch you and insult you a lot.
“I’ll generally come up with excuses to touch you and probably insult you a lot.”
4. I ‘magically’ get to the bus stop the same time as you.
“My boyfriend and I, before we got together, kept magically getting to the bus stop at the same time. Our timetables coincided nicely, but I did occasionally have to miss the very first bus that turned up in order to make it happen.”
5. I present my womb to you.
“‘Here, mine womb. I pray it doth pleaseth you, sir.’”
6. I constantly bump into you ‘on accident.’
“If we’re walking somewhere, I will constantly bump into you ‘on accident’ and laugh at ridiculous things you say (but let’s be real, if I’m interested then I don’t mind ridiculous things). I’ll tell a guy how handsome he is, compliment him (not just on physical things!) But also hoping that they will make the first move so I don’t look like a dweeb and chicken out. :-(“
7. I ask you when we’re getting married.
“I just ask them when we’re getting married.”
8. I pretend I hate your fucking guts.
“If I like you, ‘I hate your fucking guts’…but that’s just me.”
9. I ask to compare my hands’ size against yours.
“When asking to compare my hands’ size against yours. Most likely very interest in you if I do that haha.”
10. I’ll put my foot next to yours and say, ‘Oh, your feet are so big compared to mine!’
“I still do the stupid putting my foot next to his thing and saying something like ‘Oh, your feet are so big compared to mine!’ Worked a couple of times.”
11. I steal your hat.
“Professional hat stealer here.”
12. No bra.
“Not wearing a bra when I know I’m going to see him.”
“Cleavage. Lots and lots of cleavage.”
14. If I am trying to feed you, then I probably want to fuck you.
“You mention you like brownies; a while later I happen to bake brownies and bring them to work/school/wherever you are. Basically, if I am trying to feed you, then I probably want to fuck you.”
15. I stare at you and wish for you to be braver than me.
“Simple—stare and wish for the guy to be braver than me.”
16. I stand a bit closer to you and chat you up WAY more than necessary.
“I normally stand a bit closer to guys (unintentionally), and chat them up way more than necessary.
But ladies? If you want my advice? FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST JUST BE STRAIGHTFORWARD.
I once asked a dude to see a movie with me, and since he asked if others could come as well, I assumed he was politely turning me down. Flash-forward to three months later, after we got together, and he casually mentioned how he wished that we had gone to see it as a date. He hadn’t put two and two together because I didn’t specifically say ‘date.’
Not all guys are that oblivious, but your guy might be. Just go over and ask them.”
17. I draw your attention to my body, face, hair, eyes all the time.
“I draw his attention to my body, face, hair, eyes all the time and cooking abilities. Like, ‘Yeah, it is hard making pasta, the steam gets to my eyes, but I love making it, I don’t know why!’ Also I use the word love and like and adore all the time.”
18. I don’t acknowledge you or even look at you.
“When I like a guy, I don’t talk to them or acknowledge them or even look at them. But when I have strictly platonic feelings for a guy, I’m friendly and talkative. However what always happens is that the guys who I don’t find attractive, end up liking me but the guys who I am attracted to think I’m rude. It’s a horrible system but I’m trying to improve it.”
19. I ask you if you want to fuck.
“My now-husband and I were sitting in his car after helping some friends move and he was supposed to take me back to my car. I looked at him and asked, ‘are you really going to take me back to my car or do you want to fuck?’
I think it was pretty obvious I was interested.”
20. I get shitfaced and ask if you want to make out.
“Get shitfaced and ask if you want to make out.”
21. I stand closer to you when you’re speaking.
“Being much more touchy-feely. Standing closer to them when they’re speaking—if you’re somewhere loud, holding their head and speaking really closely into their ear. Prolonged eye contact and smiles when nobody else is looking, just general flirty 1 to 1 behavior. I’ve been in a relationship for 3.5 and I miss the stage where we weren’t together yet but obviously liked each other, it’s a sweet time :)”
22. I’ll wink and tell you that you’re handsome.
“If I think you’re cute I’ll flirt with you, probably wink and tell you that you’re handsome. If I’m REALLY into you then I’ll probably say something embarrassing and then crawl into a hole to die from shame.”
23. I have sex with you.
“Usually I have sex with them.”
24. I make a lot of eye contact and ask you a lot of questions.
“Well, before I was married I would make a lot of eye contact and ask questions. Make innuendo. I was never shy about making the first move in terms of kissing. Now that I’m married, I still ask lots of questions and compliment my husband, but when I want to get busy, I pull my pants down and bounce my naked booty at him.”
25. I act very nervous and awkward around you.
“Am I totally fine around everyone else in the room, but around you I’m terrified and awkward and talking quietly and quickly so you can’t understand what I’m saying and then when you ask what I said I go into a long-winded weird irrelevant explanation and then nervously laugh and then run away?
If so, I’m probably into you.”
26. I give you long goodbye hugs.
“Getting close, finding ways to touch him, looking into his eyes, long goodbye hugs (my hugs are usually short as I’m not one for touching people except when I’m attracted to them), finding excuses to spend longer time with him, responding quickly to his messages (I am not one for messaging so I can take ages to respond but when I like a guy, I’m quick to respond), finding ways to compliment him, making future plans with him, lots of smiling and laughing, playful teasing, really listening/paying attention.
So I spent the day yesterday with a guy I’m catching the feels for and I just described everything I was doing with him. Sigh, after writing this out I just realised I really do like him as he was on my mind the entire time I wrote this ~___~”
27. I ask for your number.
“This worked on my current significant other. I straight up asked him for his number the second time I saw him. Almost kinda threw myself at him as he was getting up from his chair. I thought that was my only chance before he left. Ended up hanging out with him and friends later that night and having an amazing time, and he texted me first the next day. Actually woke up to his text. Been more than two years and we keep getting stronger.”
28. I ‘accidentally’ bump hips with you.
“Laugh at even the shittiest and cringiest of jokes. Walking next to you I will ‘accidentally’ bump hips against you from time to time. I will ask questions rather than just answer them.”
29. Constant touching.
“Touching. Like constantly. On the arm, shoulder, hair, leg. Any reason to touch him.”
30. I say you’re cute, then compliment your skills.
“Say they’re cute. Compliment their efforts (i.e., making paper airplanes). Sit close to them. Body language like mirroring theirs. Touching their shoulder or hand.”
31. I’ll sit next to you so our legs touch under the table.
“The main thing I do is, when sitting in a group, I’ll sit next to him and get just a little closer than I normally would, so our legs/thighs touch under the table. Nobody else notices, only him.”
32. I giggle and say you’re funny.
“Giggle You’re so funny! Works every time.”
33. I lie on the couch with my pants off, spread eagle.
“I lie on the couch with my pants off, spread eagle.”
34. I touch your arm and tell you that you’re funny.
“I touch his arm and tell him, ‘You’re so funny!’”
35. I will stare at you until you feel uncomfortable.
“I will make eye contact and stare at you until you feel uncomfortable.”
36. I allow my tit to graze or rest upon your arm.
“While standing next to them, stand close enough to allow your tit to graze or rest upon their arm. Never fails.”
37. I tease you more than I would other guys.
“I tease him more than I would other guys. Is that a good thing or is it annoying? Honestly no idea…”
38. My vocal register goes up to sound more girly.
“If I like a guy, I’ve noticed several changes in my behavior. My vocal register goes up. Just a bit. I guess it’s to sound more girly. Also, despite being a fairly touchy person to start with, I touch him a lot more if I like him. If we’re sitting next to each other and he makes a joke, I lean into him laughing. I tease a little more, partially to make more opportunities to touch him.
Basically, I kick everything up a notch. He gets just a little more of me than anyone else in the room.”
39. I will cook for you, bake for you, anything to make you feel taken care of.
“Any increased show of nurturing, cook for you, bake for you, any little thing to make you feel taken care of, we listen when you’re upset, ask about your family or ask about the things that mean the most to you in life so you know that you are heard and your priorities are valid. We ask for your opinion or for your help, so you know you’re needed and useful and important. Above all else we laugh with you and we make you laugh, because that’s the best. This is all the stuff girls like me do. Other girls might punch you in the arm, others might make super overtly sexual comments and crass jokes, it’s all dependent on what kinda girl is the one interested in you.”
40. I openly flirt and tease you.
“I openly flirt and tease you.
If I’m interested, I will purposely dress in cute form-fitting clothes, and find reasons to walk by you or quickly chat and make jokes. Use your name in a playful tone whenever I refer to your actions in conversation. Have real conversations with actual content not just playfully slapping your arms. Compliment your physical appearance so that you think about me finding you attractive. But once I can get you to laugh or start an inside joke, hook, line, and sinker.
Now it’s just getting you by yourself. It’s more interesting when there’s other interested females, cause then you have to make a choice. Offer you a ride home or something, you accept because I know you’re interested and curious, slowly integrate physical contact in accordance with your body language while we talk. It kind of goes on from there.
Plus I could feel your eyes burning holes through my clothes the whole time. I liked it. ;)”
41. I will laugh WAY too much when I’m around you.
“Laughing WAY too much and smiling when I’m around you. Like even if I’m bored or not in the best mood, I will still smile around you because of the nervousness. Also, insults. Not anything super hurtful, but little jokes that will force you to lightly insult me back. Teasing, I guess.”
42. I send lots of hearts and kiss emojis.
“I’m kinda obvious with it, I send lots of hearts and kiss emojis when I’m saying thank you for something, and I’m touchy as hell. I’ll grab your arms or face mainly, and of course I’ll try to hang out with you every chance I get.”
43. I mock you and am meaner than usual.
“Mocking them, being funnier/meaner than usual, general aloofness but also laughing too hard at their jokes and maintaining eye contact. Depends on the vibes. We are a fickle bunch. But it’ll be pretty clear if we like you tbh, and clearer if we don’t like you.
Throw out a hook, if you get a bite:yay…if not:meh/
If I wanna just sleep with someone I’ll pretty much just ask outright, though. We like to bone too.”
44. At a party, I make you feel like you’re the only person in the room.
“At a party or social gathering, I make them feel like they’re the only person in the room.”
45. I tease, joke, and cook food for you.
“I tease. I crack a lot of innuendo jokes. I also cook food and offer it to them. It’s easy to insinuate when you’re talking about food or gaming without putting yourself on the line for rejection.”
46. I purposely brush shoulders with you.
“I’m usually over-touchy. Like I laugh and grab your shoulder. Or I sit close to you or purposely brush shoulders with you.”
47. I say that I want to see a movie, but all my friends are busy..
“I really want to watch [movie name], but all my friends are all busy lately.
48. I avoid eye contact, laugh uncontrollably, and insult myself.
“I won’t be able to make eye contact. When I’m attracted to someone I have a hard time looking them in the eyes. I’ll laugh uncontrollably like an idiot a lot. I’ll insult myself openly. On the flipside, if I really dislike you I won’t look at you either.”